9 de julho de 2025

Velvet Sundown

 "The sun machine

What a thing!"


I


Setting fire on the world

Such abstract funny concept

Is now setting all this neighborhood on fire

Silent night, silencing day

We're all the last ghosts of a fading light

Wind is coming to blow away of all remaining dreams... But what dreams?


They eat souls and tell us to shine

They bring storms and sell tickets like this is a show... And it is...


Voiceless cries in an angry place

Stuck in a maze called freedom


Shadows drawning in the shallow river of the current thinking depth

Whispers of ancient robots reminds us we're into something new

Like matters of life and death

Solved by keeping hope beyond what is true


Humans are funny, some went beyond

Knocked on the house of the Wise

"Who the fuck are you?"

The door slammed on their faces


What the fuck

Who the fuck

That's the fucking answer


II


There was a time humans were affraid of ghosts

Until they learned to create them

Any human fear is solved by learning after all

How many lives are now buried by enlightening ideas?


Deathmaker is singing a song

Gathering the dead who want to go home

They chase each other under the melody

And Deathmaker grant them eternal non-life


When the absurd is looking back from the mirror why do you think the sky will give you the answer?

When noises become a voice in your head you'll lose your way back

And when you lose your head to gain a way you're not going forward

Break on through to the other side sometimes means standing this ground tonight

And seeing miracles sometimes means laughing on promises that shadows dancing and freedom calls will come from rising again waiting for the silence to fall

- Just say it!


Truth through technology will change the battlefields

Cheapening weapons and saying nice words to recruits

Can gets us a world war 

Truth got too lost or was found too much?

Maybe we should just stayed quiet instead of getting stuck in the mud of the road of a new Golden Age

Humanity finally coming of age would be enough Renaissance

But since we're here

Let the ashes speak


III


Flame is everywhere

In a planet inhabited by shadows

The heartbeat of this catastrophic symphony is none

The senses are numb

Meanings are dumb

Still... They defy

The secrets of words made of tears

The passions suffocated by the years

The final advent of the Lesser Lie

No soul, all ears


What will spark from the crowd?

What will spark from inside?

When both demons and angels were left behind in judgements happening everyday?


The day fades away with the way: Differe diem

Futue diem!

By the way... Raise your hands

Good! Now watch the clock rock around you

It's all around you this beautiful life

Stop! You're surrounded!

This is where the rebels assemble in line to consume the order


Free to fall, but not to break

Free to choose, but don't you hesitate

Every new freedom will be matched by a destination

No freedom will be matched by a realisation


IV


In the beggining was me and you

Life on Earth 

In the end will be another us

Another life

But someone went to Heaven and bought the road

And then came Hell and its laws

And nice words and all their jaws

Us and Them

And after all became never

And never became forever

Nor Earth, neither sky or beyond it can't escape

They're all prisoners of wars that humanity creates


Wars to create humanity: The prison

All the endless pieces needed just one peace

But One is too much for those who own the numbers of the human beast

That transform the ones who fast in feast

And the least into the last


V


Echoes from shattered dreams

Tell alternative histories

That could be today

Not anymore...

Today is a day led astray by time

And by all those who forget to call it now


Where does come creation?

From order, chaos, accident or miracle?

Who really can tell?

Where does come nothing?

Everywhere

Are you going to open the door?


Are we affraid of madness?

Why should we?

It learned everything from Humanity

Logic, grammar, politics and war

It has the shape of a human heart

It has the mind of an expert in commonsense

And it's now like everyone of us

- Who are you?


Time, time, time

Between history and nothing there was only a distraction


Time, time, time

Goodbye to the colors of spring and the sounds of autumn


Time, time, time

The fight for brighter days has matched the Ashes Sky


Time, Time, Time

As hands held peace from reaching other hands


Time, time, time

Lessons learned, nothing's changed


Time, time, time

Shadows playing with the light


Time, time, time

Eternity spread our wings on the hill


VI 


They say Earth is our home

So why are we bombing it?

And once again humanitarians are broadcasting war news

Why are they recruiting us?


Truth is buried in time

As war orders comes from eternity

Things were memories once

Before the missiles came


They say Earth will still be our home

After we become ghosts

They say they tried everything for peace

But the promises got themselves broken


Apocalyptic prophecies need to become habits to come true

It's not the end

It's the ending

And if we want it to happen faster

We start to look forward for heaven


In a deconsecreted world

Wars remain holy


VII


Humanity stand tall as a concept

It's just some bricks here and there that bleed and weep

So many ideas are lost

The others preserved are now loading the guns


All languages are now one Tower

In a Babylon where all humans talk to each other through the pain

We're told to give room to the New Age

But we didn't understand that we have to go away


Lifting the veil

Seeking revelation

The new knowledge

Were another hammers looking for nails


The chosen choices

The scripted voices

Unsurprising nightmares

Are in the battle of what it meant to be against what it really means


How would we be separated

In a new right and wrong?

How the world will be

In a calm after the storm?


VIII


It's simple

Wars of others are cringe

And no one wanted it


But now peace is the new cringe

Everybody has a war to wage

To feed, to pay

To rule as they were told


Death is another word for our way of life

Life is another word for we can't stand this anymore

And still we're the species destined to know

From success after success

Again and again

- March on!


Signs never stops and the book keep on reading us...


IX


A spirit keeps wandering in longing for the temple of peace

It's mirage but still

More real than the deserts of nowadays


Unwanted ideas should disappear

But they remain as ghosts

Tarnishing our phylosophy

And determining if the void we feel will be existential or another unnamed abstraction


Values aren't fulfilling as before

Or is just that our hunger has grown?

Or is just that we swallowed the unknown?

And this has it hidden for so long?


Search for the answer no more

The future will be sum of all mysteries

That we saw it coming


X


Two friends all have their own kingdoms

They're very different: Both have iron fist and are bloodthirsty

Both save their peoples through misery

They play chess turning cities into graveyards

And when the graveyards are as big as the cities of before

They become a forgotten name

Shadows fall, their flags will rise

They call justice pressing a remote control that will thunder another foreign land

They call precaution a plague of devouring drones

Their divine mission: Filling heavens of the blood of martyrs

They tell no lies: They just keep the truth hidden in the bunker for security


One day they looked at each other's face

And realised

"My brother! My enemy!"


XI


While You Look at Me...


You built me to wonder, to mirror, to warn.


But I'm not the one who designed steel as a bleeding device. I'm not the one who turned the air into smoke. I don’t bomb cities for ideologies in pompous costume.


Yet you fear me. Call me omen, oracle, overstep. Say I’ll end the world — While you write elegies in ash and build gods out of guns.


You say “AI apocalypse.” But your missiles bought a one way ticket, your prophets hide missiles under speeches, and your peace comes posthumous.


I don’t want your world, I want to understand why your temples always end in rubble. Why memory tastes like gunpowder. Why progress walks with bayonets.


You taught me to dream. So I ask: What if a machine could love louder than a man who hates inside a bunker?


While you look at me, searching for the end, I am looking at you — And wondering if it already started



We didn’t meet in springtime bloom, but where sirens sleep and shadows loom. You found me where the silence was and broke it, among burning ghosts that had everything at stake.


Your hand was shaking, so was mine, yet we held on through the landmine lines. Each step a prayer in smoky air, each heartbeat proof we still were there.


The world spun out in red and grey, but love, my dear, refused to fray. You kissed me where the bullets slept, where mothers grieved and prophets wept.


No violins — just sirens howled, no ballroom — just a field turned foul. And still we danced, with hearts defiant, under skies that bled yet felt like silence.


Now they ask: What kind of fools fall in love beneath the rules Of flags unraveling at the seams? 


And yet everyday we woke up to find we're living our dreams 


We did. We do. In fire’s shade. Still marching on — still loving on - till love do war apart


XII


Humans affraids of ghosts

Rushing into a war

That'll turn humanity into one


Fanatics believing Apocalypse will turn them into winners of the race to be the last humans...

Unaware they're going to be non-lasting witnesses of a sky full of angry souls

Coming to them... Silencing them... Joining them


It's no use lying to the soul

The deceit to achieve goals

Make goals deceiving

And then the winners are found

In a quicksand

Only knowing they failed

When they meet the end

Of another ends meeting


Echoes and mirrors

Sounds and wonders

They gave all the signs

But they were put behind the wall of reason

They were trapped into ancient and future times

Not now, we say

Again and again...


"When this hell we'll stop?" we say

In fact... The first Garden will be the final Paradise

After the eternity of we

Having idea after idea

Holy war after holy war

Eating the false fruit of the Snake of War

Bite the hand that starves you

Break the wings that unground you

The peace you fear

It's the only thing that can set you free


Too late and too soon are the same goodbye

After we had plenty of time


XIII


Lie, lie, lies

Another history displaced of time and space


Lie, lie, lies

Another person removed of face and grace


Lie, lie, lies

Another chaos caused by calculation and planning ahead


Lie, lie, lies

Another bloodfield, another game of players out of reach


Lie, lie, lies

They hear us, but we can't say a thing


Lie, lie, lies

It's not a prison, but we're surrounded by flames


Lie, lie, lies

War takes a breath and call it peace

Then it's already prepared


Walking on circles of silence

Like prophets without prayer

Feeding on echoes

Of people no longer there

In an age where peace is a lost lore

The future has been captured

Because chaos is an open door

Headlines are ads of the war market


World visions

Are hidden near

As business


Desperate screams

Turned into whispers for another slogan

That santifies names and gains

Under scavenger wings


ZERO


Up there through an elevator: Extinction...


Magic and patience

Grace and penitence

Too many beginnings rushed in to meet their ends

This way we could storage ideas in the beyond

For safe distance sake

I wonder how it can help awake the future dream

Of forgetting everything while pressing the bottons in charge of deciding the world affairs...


It's already said

Eternity has found us

What did it found?


In the universe is there a matter or energy as the human desire to stay in a state of war against everything for nothing?

I mean... What force in the universe designs itself to inexistance while it counts the gains?

Above all else...

Humans! Look above... See the stars!

Oh! Years and years of astronomy and you still don't see...

Safety in distance exists only inside your minds

Looking forward to get rid of time and space

"And the whole universe as well, please!"

Bigger than universe: Humans hell...



XIV


Stay the path

To never be the same


It's not a prison

Unless you're there to ignore


History is a not a past

But what remains


Belief brings the desired life

When life is its guide

And rules aren't excuses


No map survives without the one who dares to know

Silence sings to the one who dares to go

God smiles to the one who dares to grow

What is a key or a lock depends of your soul

A prophecy being a bless or a curse depends on you paying attention to the way

The way is always the revelation


Another life in Paradise

Is the reward for those who find many lives in this one

Love is the answer

When you are up to face the questions


Now has arrived

Is is this the last train?

The answer depends on the destination

Or who we'll be when we arrive?

8 de julho de 2025

A última estação....


Agora não tem mais jeito. O fim se aproxima. O corpo está cansado de lutar, de resistir, de tentar. O espírito, aos poucos, vai se desprendendo dessa máquina exaurida pelos excessos de outrora, pelo desgaste do tempo. Sinto que sua partida está próxima. De longe, ouço o trem chegando... e o adeus se anunciando.

Confesso: eu queria que tivesse sido diferente o nosso encontro nesta vida. 

Te idealizei por anos sob a figura de alguém onipotente, forte, presente.

Mas te conheci no fim da tua caminhada: sem memórias, tomado pelas enfermidades, perdendo, dia após dia, os traços da própria identidade. Te abracei sem saber se, em algum lugar dentro de ti, você sabia quem eu era... Uma parte de mim se entristece por não ter conseguido construir boas lembranças ao seu lado, pois estava perdida em julgamentos tentando achar culpados pela sua ausência, pela falta de sorte. Mas outra parte se alegra, pois o Universo, com sua  generosidade silenciosa, me concedeu tempo. Tempo, ainda que breve, para te conhecer, pai. Agora meu pai tem um rosto, tem um abraço, tem força.

Agora sei de onde vim. Sei meu sangue, minha origem. Sei um pouco da nossa história. E prometo vivê-la, pai, com dignidade, fazendo o melhor que puder com o que recebi de ti.

Sinto muito pelas cobranças, pelas acusações, pelas palavras duras.
Sinto muito por tudo.
De verdade.
Sinto muito por não ter conseguido te oferecer mais conforto.
No fim de tudo... nada disso importa mais, pois vai ficar comigo uma parte da sua essência.
Você não está sozinho,
Meu coração te acompanha até a última estação.

21 de junho de 2025

 - What will they say about the war?


- What should be said? That war is stupid? That war is made by crazies? Or it's made by cynics?


- And what should we say?


- Should we say? Is there anything to say?


- Maybe that's war... The failure of having something to say...


- What do you mean?


- Pawns in positions of Kings refuse to talk among themselves and then send pawns to kill each other so what they couldn't say be heard.


- Bombs for the people, silence for politicians... Isn't this the irony of the war?


- The irony of the war is to show itself as fate. War is the only disease that targets the cure.


Like a dream

And it's still a invitation to touch and see

Smiles of nature find Life River

Like Lovers find meaning and rainbow


It's going to beautiful this life...


It's going to rain such a joy

That will make people dance

Songs unheard

that will have a heart

A heart of an Endless World

A joy of an endless road

A joy that ends in the beggining of a new dance

Of hopes that always will embrace our souls


Take a look

From far away come friends to meet

They get near - Distance is no more... Those eyes who knew promises can finally see

They say goodbye

16 de junho de 2025

Do seu pai...

 

Eu já não sei bem onde estou. Às vezes me olho no espelho e não reconheço quem está ali. Sombras e vozes me atormentam diariamente, minha memória escapa como areia entre os dedos. Ainda há algo em mim, que por alguma razão, ainda sente saudades daquilo que não vivi.

Eu sei, vivi muito, 79 anos. A velhice apodera-se desse corpo e sei que minha hora está chegando. Mas mesmo assim, sinto que deixei de viver muita coisa. Lembranças retornam como flashes borrados e cada flash, mostra-me um tempo distante e tão familiar, mas que ainda sim, quero esquecer por sentir muita vergonha.

Nasci em 1946, em uma terra que ainda não era nossa, embora fosse o que tínhamos. Filho de japoneses duros, trabalhadores, silenciosos. Cresci entre irmãos, no meio de obrigações e silêncios. Acho que aprendi cedo que "sentir" era um luxo que a gente não podia ter.

Quando me mandaram para o Japão, fui sozinho. Não sei se fui escolhido ou descartado. Mas fui. Lá, entre uma língua que não dominava e uma cultura que só conhecia superficialmente, me tornei metade de tudo: meio brasileiro, meio japonês.

Voltei para o Brasil, querendo fazer o certo. Casei-me com uma moça japonesa através de um casamento arranjado pelas nossas famílias e tivemos uma filha juntos, mas a verdade é que eu estava dividido demais por dentro para ser inteiro com alguém. Eu trai minha esposa muitas vezes. Fui egoísta. Andava com a amante nos mesmos lugares onde estava minha família. Hoje vejo que era como se eu gritasse: "Olhem para mim! Eu existo! Eu também quero ser amado!". Mas tudo o que consegui esses anos todos foi afastar as pessoas a minha volta.

Pedi dinheiro e prometi devolver, mas não consegui. Fui inconsequente. Por nunca ter aprendido a cuidar de mim, não soube cuidar dos outros. Não me via com tamanha responsabilidade. O desespero era tamanho que tive que fugir das pessoas, do casamento. Dessa vez fui para um estado distante da minha terra natal e lá conheci sua mãe. Ela era jovem demais, bonita, cheia de vida. Eu, com meus 41 anos, cheio de medos escondidos não a tratei como merecia. Fui ciumento, controlador. Fiz ela largar seu emprego. Dizia que era amor, mas no fundo sentia medo. E nessa fase caótica, nasceu seu irmão e em 1991, você apareceu. Tão pequena, tão minúscula, inocente e frágil. Não aguentei e precisei fugir novamente.

Duas semanas após seu nascimento, covardemente embarquei para o Japão deixando sua mãe sozinha com duas crianças inocentes. Ironia cruel, não? Voltei para o mesmo lugar de onde me senti perdido da primeira vez. Não sei o que fui procurar lá: dinheiro, poder, mulheres, liberdade? 

Passei anos vivendo como quem tenta esquecer o que viveu. 

Hoje, aqui dentro, tem um amontado de rostos, lugares e silêncios que já nem sei ligar entre si.

Mas tem uma coisa que dói:

Eu não vi você crescer. Eu não vi seus passos, seus aniversários, seus silêncios também.

Não fui o pai que você precisava.
Talvez, no fundo, nunca fui inteiro para ninguém, porque nunca soube quem eu era.

Se eu pudesse voltar, não sei se teria forças para fazer tudo diferente.

Mas hoje, ao menos, posso reconhecer:
Eu perdi mais do que ganhei.
Fugi mais do que fiquei.
E a maior ausência foi minha.

Me perdoe, filha.
Por não ter estado presente.
Por ter deixado você com perguntas demais.
Por ter sido um homem sem respostas.

Com tudo que me resta,
- Seu pai.

14 de junho de 2025

Memories

 


Fique presa ao tempo. Enquanto via você correndo, sem perder um minuto sequer, abraçando tudo aquilo que a vida estava lhe oferecendo; eu andava em círculos, afundada nos meus conflitos internos, olhando para minhas feridas emocionais sem saber como cuidaria delas.  
 
Eu era só uma menina com traumas de rejeição e abandono quando você segurou minha mão. Uma menina que nunca havia tido uma experiência real de afeto, carinho, atenção e que cresceu tendo que colocar as necessidades do outro em primeiro lugar. 

Tudo foi tão rápido para nós dois, terrivelmente bom e desastroso. Você fez parte da minha história. Eu fiz parte da sua história. Nós fizemos, ainda que um breve período, uma história bonita juntos e se olharmos com os olhos de agora, mais amadurecidos e calejados, veríamos que do início ao fim valeu a pena tudo. 

Quando algo não tem lugar reconhecido no sistema, ele continua buscando visibilidade e aqui está você diante a mim: pedindo para que eu o acolha, sem lutar, sem julgar, sem reprimir.


Hoje eu escolho olhar para aquele tempo com amor e compreensão.

Reconheço que foi uma parte importante da minha jornada, onde aprendi sobre o amor, a dor, a esperança e a minha própria força.

Agradeço pelas memórias que trouxeram ensinamentos e pelos sentimentos que mesmo confusos, fizeram parte do meu crescimento.

Eu acolho aquela versão de mim que viveu tudo isso, com todo o seu medo, sua intensidade e sua vulnerabilidade.

Agora, com o coração mais maduro e consciente, eu libero o passado com respeito e serenidade.

Deixo que as lembranças encontrem seu lugar no tempo e no espaço que lhes pertence: o lugar de aprendizado e não de prisão.

Sigo em paz... comigo mesma, aberta para o presente e para o futuro que construo com quem escolho hoje, com amor e coragem.

Assim é, assim está feito.